This book needs to be read by everyone. It should really be a mandatory book to be read by anyone who is in high school. I am not in school and I was still able to relate to parts of this book.
Adele, Dell, is a junior in high school with a best friend, Cara, who is on the quest to become a popular girl. Cara no longer seems to notice Dell or understand her and is simply out for herself at this point. Several incident occur in the beginning of the book that show Cara is desperately trying to get the 'cool kids' Taryn, Emma, Melissa, and Sydney, to notice her. Dell has this deflection tactic where she acts like a sumo wrestler and moo's like a cow so that people laugh with her, not at her. After doing this bit for Brandon Levitt, the popular boy who dates Taryn, Dell and Cara are invited to Melissa's house for a party.
Spoilers ahead... Now, I remind you this is an extremely good book. Beyond words can describe how deeply this book was able to reach me. KM Walton was able to write in a way that at times I felt like I was Dell, and it was me who was living this hellish life. The book is truly touching so have a box of tissues ready.
Dell is on the softball team, mostly you find out because it is the only thing that really makes her feel like her dad ever cared about her. She is cut from the team after her first game due to her weight an inability to actively participate.
After school Dell goes through the motions of caring for her younger sister, Meggie, while her mom is in a drug induced stupor at work or around the house. Her father messages her letting her know he is engaged to his new girlfriend and that it is not his fault she is over weight. After more binge eating to hide her feelings Dell leaves to go to the party with Cara.
At Melissa's house Dell is ditched by Cara almost immediately for two other girls. Brandon, that 'super hot popular guy' talks to Dell and asks her to come upstairs. After a lot of beer drinking and flip cup reffing Dell finally makes it up there where Brandon shows her a youtube video of a sumo wrestler falling and not being able to get back up. Once it ends Brandon starts kissing Dell and she asks him to stops. It goes further and further until Brandon rapes Dell. Ashamed and guilt ridden Dell leaves the party and does not mention the incident to anyone, not even Cara.
Cara continues to go on her power trip for popularity and Dell continues to spiral downward into depression. Her eating continues and her mothers drug use is starting to effect her moods and how she is toward Dell. The only thing holding Dell together is the smell of her younger sister Meggie. Cara's hot and cold emotions toward Dell confuse her when Cara signs them both up for the talent show. Dell decides to do it so that she can make Cara happy and convinces herself that Cara must care if she signed her up and wants everyone to know she has an amazing voice.
Right before the talent show Taryn starts spreading the rumor that Dell raped Brandon. Dell has an out burst in the hallway in which she ends up breaking her toe. Determined to go on Dell takes several of her mom's Valium to deal with the pain of her broken toe so that she can make it to the talent show to sing. Dell is very intoxicated at this point but still manages to sing like a pro and everyone cheers for her. In the end some a-hole in the audience moo's and in a drunken stupor Dell does her impression and everyone laughs except Dell. Cara, who egged Dell on to do the sumo thing, is ecstatic when they are invited to another party but does not even put up a fight when Dell declines the invite and just wants to go home.
Once home Cara continues to text Dell from the party advising her that the pictures from the night have been uploaded online. Dell finds pictures of herself singing and feels great about her self, but the happiness only lasts a moment. She sees many comments for Cara telling her she was amazing and looks great. This makes Dell want to scroll down to her own comments where she sees people calling her a Whale and tagging her in all the pictures as a Whale. Cara quickly takes all of the photos down but not before Dell has seen them.
It is at this point Dell feels most alone. She was just looking for anyone to reach out and fight for her but there was no one there. She was all alone and she makes the decision to kill herself so that the pain will come to an end. She feels a burden to her mother, who has no money, no job, and has to keep feeding her overweight daughter. She thinks her father no longer wants anything to do with her since he has only seen her one time since the divorce. And her best friend has new popular friends that she has always wanted. Gathering more of her mothers pills she drives back to the auditorium where the story concludes mid sentence. We do not know if Dell took the correct amount of medication which she states several times that she is afraid she doesn't have the right amount due to her large size.
I wish I knew what happened. This book was really moving to me. Words hurt.
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